On this gloriously sunny April the 20th, there seemed to be only one reasonable activity: eat and review the second half of Taco Bell’s breakfast menu. It just seemed to fit for some reason…Here’s what went down today:
- Waffle Taco: To be honest, I was nervous about this. I mean…look at that picture above. What I should have realized is that this is Taco Bell we’re talkin’ ‘bout, and they rarely let me down. The waffle taco is a good metaphor for Taco Bell’s business model. It kind of tastes like the waning moments during a big breakfast when you just say “the hell with it!” and scoop up the scraps off your plate into one delicious bite. Because that’s what Taco Bell really is: all the food left over that no one wanted mashed together into something wonderful. There’s a lesson in there somewhere. Also, and you’ll have to trust me on this one, you’d be a damned fool not to drizzle syrup all over this. 3 out of 4 om noms.
- Steak & Egg Burrito: The great thing about Mexican food or “Mexican food”, as it were, is that basically you can create hundreds of different meals by basically rearranging the same items into different configurations. The same thing applies here, as the Flatbread Melt and A.M. Breakfast are clearly just the breakfast burrito folded in a different way. Call me a cheater, but I feel like I’ve tried them all. Anyways, this is kind of the breakfast version of Generic Mexican Food Item #1. I’d stick with the A.M. Crunchwrap. 2.5 out of 4 om noms.
- Hashbrown: Maybe it’s recency bias, or maybe it was the fact that you could pour Salsa del Sol (TBell’s new breakfast-time sauce [I know, right!?]) all over it, or maybe it was Taco Bell’s brilliant marketing campaign, but I liked this better than McDonald’s almost identical hashbrown patties. One quarter of an om nom more than however many om noms I would have given McDonald’s hashbrowns.
- Mountain Dew Sungarita?: Honestly, I don’t know what I got here. I asked the drive-thru attendant for the orange juice/Mountain Dew combo I saw on TV, and then she frantically searched her register buttons for the unholy concoction I so desired. “We have Baja Blast, or [indecipherable],” she stammered nervously. I assured her that whatever the second one was would be fine. I think I heard sungarita, which made sense at the time (I refuse to look it up now). Basically it tasted like cranberry flavored Mountain Dew. 4 out of 4 fulfilled nightmares.