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FDC Supplemental #5: Little Caesars Bacon Pizza


Ultimate redemption. That’s what was on the line for Little Caesars after the fiasco that was the pretzel pizza. Although there are already some amazing reviews out there, when Little Caesars announced they were releasing a bacon-wrapped deep dish pizza, the whole FDC crew was very excited because there was basically no way this could possibly be bad. After going through the painful exercise that is scheduling anything between four twenty-somethings, we finally had a chance to try this magnificent piece of culinary artistry.

Only a few bites in, it was clear Little Caesars was serious about making amends for the pretzel pizza. The bacon-wrapped pizza was sooooo good. The bacon on the crust was crispy, and adding the little bacon bits on top was just the right amount of crazy. I couldn’t quite figure out how they fused bacon to the crust, but similar to most things I eat, I tried not to think about it too much. They also wrapped each individual piece all the way around with bacon, which was a nice touch given the pizza costs more than twice what a normal Hot N’ Ready will run you. Even Brad, a Hot N’ Ready skeptic, went as far as to say “it’s good…very good.” My only complaint about the pizza is that Matt forgot the Crazy Bread.

After we had a little time to ruminate, we all were simultaneously hit with extreme thirst. A pizza covered in an irresponsible amount of bacon was bound to be salty, but damn. You know that universal piece of drug education where you’re told people on ecstasy will sometimes drink too much water to the point where they die? This pizza has a similar element of danger that I really enjoyed. I also like the idea of a rave where they’re just passing out pizza. I was glad we each only had two slices, because as much as I’d like to bite the big one from eating a pizza, I still have a lot to accomplish.

I dream big.

Feeling like we had tempted fate already, we turned down Chris’ request to go to Little Caesars for a second pizza. Even though I think Cookie Monster is a total sellout for declaring cookies “a sometimes food”, I will borrow that phrase because bacon-wrapped pizzas are definitely a sometimes food. Added health risks aside, I give the bacon-wrapped deep dish pizza 3.75 out of 4 om noms, only being marked down for the human body not being able to handle it on the daily.

You’re only fooling yourself, buddy.